Halo SASUKE 12

Halo SASUKE 12 is the 7th 25 Competitor Tournament, the 1st since Halo SASUKE 6, and the Fourth Tournament since Weaponmatt's Total Victory in Halo SASUKE 8.

THE SHITSHOW

AFTER MANY LONG GLORIOUS MONTHS OF CHUMPY SADNESS, HALO SASUKE LIVED ON IN T12. Initially T12 was supposed to be this epic 100 competitor extravaganza. Chumpy’s dumbass deleted THE WHOLE FUCKING SECTION OF CLIPS IN HIS COMPUTER ON ACCIDENT. Which resulted in a few months of Halo Sasuke in Jump Pergotory. During this time Chumpy threatened to quit multiple times to his good friend and long time editor Irish. Chumpy even started a 1 off tournament with Swan for 5 minutes called K-Mart Warrior. That didn’t pan out which left Chumpy no choice but to use necromancer powers to bring Halo Sasuke back from the land of Jump pergatory.

THE TOURNAMENT

To make the tournament even worse than what was already expected, Chumpy was only willing to gather 25 runs for this course, so he did that. To make it even more of an embarrassment, Chumpy not only fucked around the entire editing for the tournament. He also decided to commentate the whole thing at 2:30 in the morning, completely losing all acknowledgement of time and brain power. Resulting in an incredible dumpster fire of a tournament.

THE RESULTS

9 people decided to show up and clear this tournament. Including Killer, Drew, Jake, and Cyrus Clearing for either their first time, or first time in a while. Then the other guys that are actually good showed up and didn’t really try that hard. Even Joey, the sweatiest motherfucker of all time decided to fail stage 2. What a fucking pussy. Flame and Booker cleared again, no shock from me. Along with Smokey and Matt being the Guys they are and beating S1. Shock fails include Rish, Hunter, fireball, and pedro pussying out on stage one. Rog showed up and failed the first obstacle. A direct representation on how much people loved T12. Smokey and Matt beat stage 2 and Matt got 1st failing the cliffhanger.

CONCLUSION

Kids, what have we learned here today. To have the ups in life, you must also experience the downs in life. This was definitely a down. The truth in it all is that it isn’t about how hard you fall, it’s how you get back up. And T13 is less of a shitshow than this atrocity of a jump tournament. Go watch that and skip this one unless your a big fan of Tobey Maguire.

Stage One Obstacles
1.1: Grip Glider

1.2: Ascending Pillars*

1.3: Jump Hang Kai*

1.4: Sonic Curve*

1.5: Great Wall

1.6: Flying Chute

1.7: Lego Climb

* - new

TL: 1:40 (100) sec.

Stage Two Obstacles
(2.1) Maze Slider

(2.2) Double Salmon Ladder

(2.3) Curved Spider Walk

(2.4) Balance Ball*

(2.5) Metal Spin^

(2.6) Water Walls

* - New

^- Modified

TL: 90 sec.